Florida mornings are just starting to get a little cool. The grass got my socks wet when I went to get a diaper out of the car. It smells crisp and clean outside but still warm enough to have no seeums bite you if you are outside too long.
The funeral for Zane was today. I was sort of dreading it all morning. Mostly because I don’t know how to best comfort Damian so selfishly I am uncomfortable.
All this last week has been emotional and the overwhelm of grief comes in waves. I have had my ups and downs but I was not prepared for today when seeing the casket. It was so small that my heart just clinched up and the tears came all over again.
His casket is 24″ long by 12″ and is a “Kelly Green” color. The color was chosen because Zane’s middle name is Kelly. Damian and Michelle named all their kids a color as their middle name.
The cemetary smelled like sand and freshly cut grass. The service was short but very nice. The promise of eternity is supposed to comfort but if I am being honest it seams trite. I know, I know but I can’t help but grieve for the loss of a son, brother ,cousin, nephew and just a baby. The peace is not yet fully realized.
Jerry Mashburn says
Our hearts go out to the Jones and Fischer families. We grieve with you and pray for you. May the love of Christ and the comfort of His Spirit envelope you all.
Larry Fischer says
Thank you Jerry.
Jean Fischer says
A grandson. We really find it hard to understand why. God has been so good to protect our children, I had no doubts God would protect our grandchildren, too. But for some reason God has chosen to take Zane home to Him. It is not for me to know why or He would tell me, but I know it is for His glory. Zane is o.k. We will see him again. It drives me more every day to the Lord.
I have asked myself many times, am I willing to be a Job? I don’t like it. Do I have choice? Yes, I do have a choice. I could blame God and live to hate Him. Job had that choice. But Job continue to believe in God. God picked Job to prove he was a godly man to Satan. God allow Zane to die. I don’t have to like it, but I trust in my Lord it is His choice. Do we see the big picture. No. But God does. I’am thankful, I know the creator of this world and He loves us All.
Larry Fischer says
I love you mom.