Florida mornings are just starting to get a little cool. The grass got my socks wet when I went to get a diaper out of the car. It smells crisp and clean outside but still warm enough to have no seeums bite you if you are outside too long.
The funeral for Zane was today. I was sort of dreading it all morning. Mostly because I don’t know how to best comfort Damian so selfishly I am uncomfortable.
All this last week has been emotional and the overwhelm of grief comes in waves. I have had my ups and downs but I was not prepared for today when seeing the casket. It was so small that my heart just clinched up and the tears came all over again.
His casket is 24″ long by 12″ and is a “Kelly Green” color. The color was chosen because Zane’s middle name is Kelly. Damian and Michelle named all their kids a color as their middle name.
The cemetary smelled like sand and freshly cut grass. The service was short but very nice. The promise of eternity is supposed to comfort but if I am being honest it seams trite. I know, I know but I can’t help but grieve for the loss of a son, brother ,cousin, nephew and just a baby. The peace is not yet fully realized.