We have been looking at colleges and it is amazing what is available and the amount of money is going to these colleges. We went to Asheville to look around at Montreat College. It is beautifully nestled in the mountains and the facility was incredible. The littles and I enjoyed walking around and taking in all the sites.
Author of my own story, that is.
I look forward and see decisions to make and paths to take or not take. It is so overwhelming sometimes. Then I look back at my life and I see the decisions made and paths taken and realize God is in control of the story, not me. Now that I am older I look at my life and discover that my whole life is about identity. I am at war with God about who I am.
I am not trying to wax philosophic. God says I am His and I believe it but the part about being a priest or saint…well let just say that is a stretch. I get it intellectually but making those assertions is fiction at best for me and my life. I struggle with doing what I know is right or righteous. Just writing that word makes me cringe. Galatians says to walk in the spirit. If I am being honest I don’t ride in the same bus as the Spirit. I know who I am in Christ but my own selfish desire and self-deceit keep me loving my shiny favorite sins.
The worst part is the damage it does to those around me. The best selling lie satan ever sold is “it only effects you”. This is never true. Even if it seems isolated to you alone it isn’t. The sin affects…yep, your identity, who you are and the things you want. This identity shifting affects everyone you contact.
Then here comes the real author. Before the foundation of the earth, God wrote my story (and yours). I understand this and can rest in it but I also am afraid of (or even hostile to) it. After all, I want what I want and maybe I don’t want to go do missions work but rather sleep or watch TV. My identity is so jacked up that I forget the big picture and forget who is the one really in charge.
I am praying for heart change. My heart is bent on my way and my sin is marring my identity. I need an identity crisis. God, please do a work in me.
We Purchased a house. It needs work, lots of work. We are excited to get started and unveil the secrets that lie in wait for us to discover. It was built in 1925 and is a Craftsman Bungalow.
That is Levi picking up sticks in the photo.
We our missing Abbi.
Our church home in North Carolina is Redeemer PCA .
Redeemer is a church plant in Southern Pines NC. We are enjoying getting to know our new Church family.
We Moved. It was a lot of work to get moved and it would not have been possible without the help of many good friends. Thank you Dad, Dwayne Blankenship, Jonathan Walden, Roddy Fischer, Danial Fischer, Chase Wolford,Cameron Frickie, and the wonderful IT department at Classical Conversations.
We are moving to North Carolina. The thing is we have been trying to get our house on the market for a while now. This has proved difficult with 5 kids and even when I am home (insert air quotes here) it is hard to get work done on the house. We have fixed the broken things on the house, paint, carpet, switch plates, crown molding, base boards, door handles, and other stuff a 5 year old can break.
I must confess I am not resting in Christ very well for this move. First is the issue of timing. The kids are registered for school, CC, which starts in August. Second is Stacey supposed to tutor Challenge 1 in August and besides the timing issue is that she doesn’t have any students registered for her class yet. We usually need the money from her tutoring to pay for the kids CC tuition.
I know God is in control and these are relatively little things to a great big God but I find myself stressing out and not trusting Him.
So this post is me trying to remind myself of His matchless grace and love for me. I know I will look back at this post and see God at work.
OK. So to clarify my post title, I love my new job and the new place (Pinehurst and surrounding areas). I hate not having my family here. I miss them so much. I even found my self driving by the park where my kids played while they were here. You might think it would be nice to not have to deal with the craziness of a five kid family but I can’t stand it. The chaos us music to my ears.
I am excited with my new position at Classical Conversations. The impact for Christ through the education of kids everywhere is awesome and the potential ways we can be salt and light to this world is super cool. The CC folks have welcomed me with open arms and have resonate me feel at home. I am overwhelmed with all the areas I can work on at CC and can see that I am going to have to prioritize some things as to keep my self sane. Right now I am still figuring out what systems are in place and what all CC has that needs to be worked on. I love that they have so much already to build on.
I an praying for our home in Birmingham to sell so my family can come here soon.
Meanwhile the kids are now on Thanksgiving break. They still have schoolwork to get done and they “love” that….NOT!
Very exciting, Anna is learning how to drive. I am watching my hair turn grey daily.
Stacey has the menu planned, the food and recipes lined up and ready to be prepared. Makes me hungry just thinking about it
I am very thankful for my family. This has been a tough year. God has been faithful and I am humbled by the grace he continues to shower on us. I look forward to seeing what he is going to do in our lives this next year.
Florida mornings are just starting to get a little cool. The grass got my socks wet when I went to get a diaper out of the car. It smells crisp and clean outside but still warm enough to have no seeums bite you if you are outside too long.
The funeral for Zane was today. I was sort of dreading it all morning. Mostly because I don’t know how to best comfort Damian so selfishly I am uncomfortable.
All this last week has been emotional and the overwhelm of grief comes in waves. I have had my ups and downs but I was not prepared for today when seeing the casket. It was so small that my heart just clinched up and the tears came all over again.
His casket is 24″ long by 12″ and is a “Kelly Green” color. The color was chosen because Zane’s middle name is Kelly. Damian and Michelle named all their kids a color as their middle name.
The cemetary smelled like sand and freshly cut grass. The service was short but very nice. The promise of eternity is supposed to comfort but if I am being honest it seams trite. I know, I know but I can’t help but grieve for the loss of a son, brother ,cousin, nephew and just a baby. The peace is not yet fully realized.